Inspired to write a journal after so long, I face a new mini-crisis. In a little over a month, I turn 20. Yea I know, it's not that old but to me life feels like it's slipping away and I can't keep ahold of the string tying it to me. When did I grow up? I've moved out, got a job, and willingly attend my classes. I still remember building book-buildings from my mom's encyclopedias, playing imaginary games in my front yard, and not getting funny looks for coloring or having two full tins of crayons. Now, they're like "be responsible" and all that. All I want is to be a kid again and to stop growing up. I don't want to be an adult yet. I guess this was spurred by Lollie getting married and having a baby. I still remember her when we first met about 5 years ago, and now she's an adult. Not to mention I have people asking me when Eric and I plan on getting married. Do I have to get married before I'm even age-legal for drinking? In short, I want to be a kid and to not grow up at all.